If only I could make lemonade

I'm seething with rage

I've been sat all day in a workshop with my entire local office, about 70 people. This was without a shadow of doubt the worst training session I have ever experienced.

Before I exercise my devils, let me preface this by saying I had some valuable conversations with my colleagues, but those seemed incidental rather than by design.

We were told that day was about "Inclusion and Diversity".

While it might seem a bit cringe, I was hoping for some insights or just a bit of self realization in regards to a few prominent figures that have denied major issues embedded deep in the heart of the company.

Maybe this could be an opportunity.

Instead every single segment of the day followed simple pattern.

1. The Facilitator preaching on pseudo psychology, half baked personal philosophy and outright nonsense.
2. A group activity.
3. Feedback from every group to the whole room (which took forever)


Each segment took about two hours, every one more draining then the last and none about Inclusion or diversity.



By lunch time, a number of the people I spoke to were ready to walk out, including me.

So what pissed me off so much?

We'd been shushed repeated throughout the day like nursery school children for a start, but simultaneously told not to put ourself into the position of a "child" and be respectful (thanks to an awful hacked explanation of transactional analysis).

Oh and she, the facilitator referred to a place as a third world country, and barely noticed when a colleague explained that it's a derogatory term, developing country was perhaps a better if she had to use one.

We had hours of being told this facilitators person beliefs:
- She decided that clumsiness was all in your head, because it wasn't real in her experience - so too bad if you have dyspraxia.
- Getting sick was the result of negative thinking and the mind can heal "anything" because placebos work therefore you can self heal.

From XKCD


I could describe in full, but I'll save you the pain and simply say it bordered on scientology and condoned victim blaming.

When we the participants challenged these do called nuggets of wisdom, we were told "well I'm giving you knowledge and tools, it's up to you use them or not, debate them with me if you want but it's what I believe". The problem was it was all bullshit in the guise of training.

Real concepts were explained with such error as to render them useless. Reminiscent of the adage - little learning is a dangerous thing. My colleague a psychologist and neuroscientist was equally as pained as most in the room.

We were told that the words masculine and feminine have nothing to do with gender, that it was our problems if we added that meaning to such words, because we should look them up.

Let me not forget that we were repeatedly told how effortless and brilliant the facilitators life was, for no apparent reason and with no self awareness as to her white middle class privilege.

How grand a life of wealth,with no mental or physical illness must be.
If only I had enough positive energy to attract these advantages too, but clearly I'm not worthy because I'm cynical, woe is me.


At one point when the feedback registered that none of this had anything to do with inclusion or diversity, the facilitator told us
"Well I could explain what inclusion and diversity are but I don't think it's right for you, but I'm sure you'll see the link by the end of the day".

Then we built literal bridges with card and paper and she tenuously tried to link it to inclusion. It was utterly pointless.

And so the nightmare continued.

We ended the day with one discussion on general issues in the company and shared our solutions, a very good idea in principle and one we should of had at the start of the day. But the format was so warn out that by this point, everyone was drained, disengaged and frankly seconds away from wrist slitting.

To top it off, the CEO endorsed this epic nonsense.

The world should be protected from this self congratulatory, brain washing, utter crap.

I don't normally name and shame but Round Table Global, this was utterly useless and I believe you can kiss my arse.


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