Tooth fairy

Teeth, urgh

While it's only 7 mins out of my day. Nothing bores me more then the thought of flossing and brushing my teeth before bed.

Yes, I'm in my 30s and should be grown up enough to not care. But just the thought has me comatose. Then your mouth gets icky by 10pm and you get off your bum and brush away and remember it's not so bad.

I've tried switching hands, listening to music and multitasking but still snoozefest. In the morning I think I'm too sleepy, so auto pilot takes over. Honestly I often get to work and I'm surprised I'm dressed.

However, the worse insult to injury is the dental hygienist.

Dear dental professionals, I have no idea why you want to look on people's mouths. OK we do indeed need you. But that does not mean I understand you.

So what prompted my latest angst. Well s couple of weeks ago, I was stuffing my face with some nostalgic fruit salads. For those of you unfamiliar with these, it's a chewy sweet from my childhood that tastes like copious amounts of sugar and artificial flavour, in fact it's probably illegal.

Mid chew I feel something come loose. Yes you know where I'm going, it wasn't a tooth (thank the spirit in the sky) but it was my crown. I ran off to the bathroom to recover what I can and jam the crown back in.

An emergency appointment and lighter wallet later I emerge very poor. But a new crown is fitted do I can eat again.

All is well.

Or a I thought.

The dentist say, by the way you need to see the hygienist.

Ok I reply.

Two hours later I'm bankrupt.

My face is in agony.

I have no money.

This is why I hate my bloody teeth.
I better charge my electric toothbrush because no way in hell am I doing that again.

Expect in December when my next torture session is booked.


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