Being Nice Destroys Lives
I'm comfortable with the fact I'm not a "nice" person.
Even though I don't consider myself to be particularly mean or nasty either, I come to the conclusion I just can't live with nice.
Why? Well when your too nice it tends to be the only thing people say about you. Its often used as a substitute instead of saying what you actually think for feel about someone. To me that translates as "well we couldn't think of anything else to say".
Don't get me wrong, I can't stand rudeness at all but there is this horrid underbelly of overt politeness that can be infuriating. People in an attempt to be perceived as being nice, go out of there way to please others, my mother has this down to an art form and I, alas, am no exception.
Take for example the lending and borrowing of personal items. Now I'm rather particular about who I lend things to or I wish I could be, because there are people who borrow and Never ever return, people who borrow and destroy and don't care and everyone else who is capable of borrowing and returning without incident.
Anyone who knows me, know I love my books. But often I go to re-reading something and realise its been lent out and its been soo long that you can't ask for it back - nor can you say no when they ask to borrow something else (of course this depends on the relationship you have with the person). I do have friends that I can lend to and not think about it and then you get the wonderful conversation about whether they liked or hated the book, which is the whole point.
But I can't say no to the others
This is because I'm trying to not seem like an insane ungenerous cow.
I'm sure we've all done it and regretted it. I lent a first editions of a book I really loved to someone and even explained to them that it was special to me - that was 3 years ago and now they've left the country.
When really there should be no problem in asking for your things back we don't.
All of this in the name of niceness.
I could site a hundred more examples of this behaviour. Its a shame as human we just want to be liked and believe being nice will get us this status.
I'm convinced its an illness and I want rid of it.