The countdown

I am rubbish at waiting for anything.

Patience is a virtue - loved by all, known by few.

I can be patient, really I can I just can not stand anticipation. I get edgy and have butterflies in my stomach, i start to think off all the things that can go wrong, it a downward spiral.
You see I'm going over to Australia in a few long drawn out days, to visit my mother in law. I'm counting down the seconds till we leave and I'm not thinking about the sheer volume of work I'll have when I come back. The problem is I hate waiting, I want to go now!

I've become more and more like this over the past few years, E has banned me from watching TV shows until we have the whole season because I get obsessive and need to know what is going to happen. I blame JJ Abrams for this - had it not been for Alias I might never have bothered with television again. Strangely enough I can survive the post office but with the cinema I have to see previews or go on the first day of release, with books i get them on preorder (Thank you Amazon!). Actually I think the Internet is to blame - having almost anything a few clicks away just fuels an addictive personality like mine.

So I ask how do I get rid of the anticipation?

(and why does the clock always stop 2 seconds from the end?)

Anyway Thanks for reading my post thus far and see you all when I return.


Alls fair in Love and War?

I've been reading a novel called "The Trial of True Love". The protaganist is head over heels for a women he can't have. Yep one of those stories, not a fantastic book but it got me thinking. Why is it so endearing to read/watch a guy pursue a women in earnest as opposed to a women chasing a man. (I don't know enough about gay couples to comment so I'll stick to hetrosexual relationships for this post though I'm sure it all applies).

Think about it, if a girl is chasing a guy with complete zeal and he is not interested the main assumption people make is that she is a - desperate b- shamless. Whereas when a guy chases a women relentlessly he is a - a stalker b - adorablely sincere. Why the distinction, or is it just me who sees it this way?

Don't get me wrong I'm not about to go down the men vs women route in the quest for love cos we know that nobody really gets an easier a time.

The Beatles said "all we need is love" most of us spend much or our free time when we are single in the pursuit of it, in a relationship - maintianing it and as parents you spend all your timing giving it. So as much as I hate to doubt the Beatles - yes we all need love but is it enough?

What is love with out understanding and respect? And what do you do if the one you love doesn't return those affections...

So my question is is all really that fair in Love and War?


Keep in touch

I'm having an introspective month. Which is just code for the fact that I think far too much about random stuff. Recently I've noticed just how many people I've lost touch with. I'm sure you all know how it is. You move around and some people you just know you'll never see or speak to again but you miss them all the same. Other people you try and keep in contact with but it fades out and then there is the core you do keep in touch with which is great but every now and again you wonder what happened to everyone else?

Sites like MySpace and Facebook are great for finding people you used to know but when you find them how much have you actually got to say anymore?

Sometimes its like no time has passed but other times after you've said "hi" its followed by awkwardness...

Its worse with family, I have such a huge extended family that I grew up with (I'm talking in the hundreds) that you just accept that you'll see these people at events like wedding, dinners etc but since I grew up and moved out I have less reason to go to these things and thus end up seeing people I love (and many that I loathed) once a year, relying on my parents for updates. Taking for granted that the people I'm close are family and will forgive me for not being there thus I'll never really lose touch with them.

Anyway I think this week should be getting in touch week I mean what have I got to lose...


First Impressions

I've been thinking about leaving my job recently which means the inevitable interview process.

I hate interviews, I don't think anyone really enjoys them on either side of the table. The problem being you only have a tiny amount of time to sell yourself. Cos that's really what your doing - selling and hopefully the people your talking to are buying. Its even more horrid if you have to do a second interview, as you've got tougher competition and you might have used up all your tricks.

The thing that bugs me is this - first impressions count. Never more so then in an interview.

I think I'm one of those odd people who might grow on you given time but really don't think I make the best first impression. I get nervous and start babbling about nothing or it goes the other way and I end up silent and seeming rude. I had one interview when my answer to everything was "teamwork", I realised afterward I must have sounded very stupid.

So these days I do my best to hide my inner freak at interviews and social occasion, I also have to practice looking comfortable in a shirt, thank goodness I'm not a boy and don't have to deal with a tie!

I just read that the Prime Minister here is offering to pay for unemployed people to get hair cuts before an interview. I think this is a great idea but it does reinforce the whole appearance is everything idea.

Its just the idea that you could miss some of the best things in your life just because it or they didn't make a great first impression...I just wonder about it, there are some people I am really good friends who I never would have guessed I'd become so close to. There are other times when I haven't liked someone and tired for the sake of other people to get along with but its all ended up blowing up - you end up wishing you'd trusted your instincts.

So the question is do we trust our instincts or don't we and how well can you really know someone in 30 mins?