It's Halloween! Even though we went to a Halloween Party on Saturday (complete with costumes and men dressed up as Nuns, its never right without some cross dressing). I've always liked Halloween. As kids my sister and I used to dress up and watch horror movies all night (people don't really go trick or treating here). So when going to a Halloween party you have to ask all the right questions, is it scary fancy dress or can you wear anything ...or is it more wear black and some devil horns that you can abandon later in the night? Otherwise you arrive in full gear ready to mingle and find that everyone else is wondering why on earth you came looking like that. Especially as all the other girls are wear their sexiest gear they own and your there dressed like a twit…So imagine my relief when we arrive at the party, throw off our coats and quickly get ready in the hall before knocking and everyone is in full dress, from head to toe and underneath (the male nuns were in stockings) and the man-cow with udders was particularly impressive. Note only a fool would take public transport in fancy dress and there were many of them about on Saturday night.
I thought I'd seen it all and Halloween fever was almost over until I saw this pic.

It seems New Yorkers had a Howl-a-ween and even though its soooo bad, but I can't help but look


"Blogging is just Narcissism"

I over heard someone on the bus when I was on my way into work claim the that 'people who blog are just narcissist', so of course I'm sitting there reading my book totally annoyed but eaves dropping. Hey if you don't want people to listen to you conversation on the bus - don't yap so loud. Anyway, I concluded the guy was a moron. How is blogging any different to a journal, diary or autobiography? You don't have to be self-obsessed to want to talk about your views, do you? Does this mean that all the people wrote published life stories or diaries are ego driven, I think not, look at Anne Frank, I hardly thing she started keep her diary because of some sense of self importance. I mean imagine a world without this fantastic medium or diaries etc how would we vent out little frustration or amusing anecdotes. Blogging especially not only lets you write your way out of bored but is the ultimate tool for human curiosity, you can read a little bit of a total strangers life and views, learn about people you'd never be able to meet in real life, how is that not good for society? Anyway that's my rant about other people is over, now we can return to more important matters like me!


The mystery that is doctors...

On a funny buy scary note a woman in Spain was diagnosed with flatulence ends up giving birth, no one figured out she was pregnant!

I have mixed feelings about Doctors. About 6 family members and friends of mine (maybe more) are medical Doctors and I like all of them just fine, I admire all the hard work and dedication is took to get where they are, but I hate going to see the Doctor.

I book an appointment, run the gauntlet of speaking to the evil receptions who would admit no body if you gave her the chance and then wait. Its the waiting that does it, I get the urge to leave but don't and after what seems like an eternity they call you in...

The thing is Doctors, especially GPs see loads and loads of people everyday, many are over worked and tired of people wasting their time. So I get a tad paranoid that they are judging you the second you walk in the door. If you under 30, many have the idea that nothing could possibly be wrong with you so you are A. Depressed or B. Attention seeking in order to get time off. The GPs at my uni were notorious for this behavior.

I find once you get in the room you have 10 second to state your problem, anything after that is totally ignored, they say maybe one sentence to you as they are already writing out your prescription. Plus after that 10 seconds my mind goes blank, I should have the spine to say more but instead I'm silent. Before I know it I'm in the lobby with a prescription for generic pain killers and I'm think but I don't need painkillers!

So imagine my surprise when my current doctor not only listens to what I have to say but keeps on talking, in fact she talks so quickly and laughs every other sentence, my husband and I keep looking at each other in disbelief. I'm still in the lobby a few mins later and still bewildered but this time somethings might happen. So 3 years and four doctors later I'm finally being treated for something they knew I probably had four years ago...go figure.


blogging for a better tomorrow

Its Thrusday, that evil day which gets in the way of Friday. Nothing good ever happens on a Thrusday.

I feel like my brain is turning to mush but least I'm not as stupid as this guy in Boston.


Stuffed - but giggling

It was Eid on Monday, which means after a month of fasting my whole family get to stuff everyone they know with the most delicious food. Or in my case you gain back all the weight you spent a month getting rid of but do you stop eating....hell no its far too yummy.

So now I'm back at work hoping the rest of this week flies by and I can go over to my folk for left overs. But until I get that next feast I have to relate a tale ...

On Saturday my husband (E) and I trekked down to Brighton to see my sister-in-law (A). We were also meeting my father-in-law (this is never a good thing, but Note the guy has been married twice and has grown up two daughters this will be relevant later). He decided he's going to 'sort out' his daughter with everything she needs for her new year at uni so off we go the ASDA the massive super market where you can get everything from knickers to compost. After a few mins the trolley is looking very full and the guy decides he is bored, its time to pay.

Thus he begins to grab any old thing and ask if she needs it, in order to speed up the process.

As we walk down the cosmetics aisle the finish line is getting closer and closer the only problem is he's still grabbing stuff.
(At this point if you will all things must go slow motion).

He stops inches from the till, looks at the sanitary towels and starts to feel them (E is praying he doesn't ask if she wants them, as a girl I HATE mentioning my period in ther presence of any male especially my father its just wrong, A feels the same)...We all try and avoid looking at him.

I turn just in time to see him pick them up and utter the words ...'Do you want some Soap?'

I double take...

The three of us go silent while he stands there holding the Always Ultra...Letting it sink in. While he stands there thinking he is holding soap.

We last 5 seconds before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. My sister-in-law has gone pink trying not to laugh but she can't hold it in. E eventually manages to get out the words 'it's not soap!'. A can't even look, I'm hiding behind E barley able to stand I'm laughing so hard.

Guy looks confused and has a closer look at the packet 'How was I meant to know what they look like?'


Five tagged...

Its seems work have blocked blogger so I'm going to have to post in the evenings from now...

I've been tagged to come up with lists...

Five Things I Would Do If I Were A Millionaire: (after the normal stuff, charity and helping my folks)
- Leave my job and start writing until I finish a damn book
- Travel around the planet for a few years, seeing all the history I can
- Pay for me and my husband to go back to university a Phd
- Buy my dream home in London
- Eat all the Sushi I want!

Five Bad Habits:
- Worrying far too much about money
- Having no patience with my family
- Being to lazy to finish my writing
- Hating my job but doing nothing about it
- getting annoyed over tiny things

Five Things I Hate Doing:
- Nothing (I loath doing Nothing)
- Going shopping with relatives
- Tasks for people who don't appreciate it
- Working with no purpose
- Apologising for things that aren't my fault

Five Things I Would Never Do:
Can't say I change my mind all the time so there is nothing I wouldn't do give the right situation...

Five Things I Regret Doing:
I'm not sure, I try not to regret anything and just live with it. Life it to short to regret stuff you can't change

Five Favorite Things (objects): Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kitten... oh mine OK...
- My battered copy of Lord of the Rings
- My scrape book of college/uni etc
- My Red Wings Jersey
- The green Shawl my mother used to wrap us up in as kids
- Sootsy (my pink puppet bear)

Five People I Choose To Do This:
Last One Here (cos he still hasn't done it)
JR Thumbprints


The wheels on the Bus go...

People annoy me at the best of times. Luckily I'm still mildly sane. Recently my husband E injured his foot, for a few days he couldn't even walk. Thankfully he hadn't broken anything but he is still limping and walking with a crutch. As neither of us drive, you only drive in central London if your are A. Insane B. Rich enough to pay the Charge and Insane. We both get the bus to work (E cycles in good weather). Even though the old route masters are gone, buses in London are excellent, they are frequent and not too pricey what more could you ask for? Well try a little human kindness.

I have a rules on the bus and tube, if an elderly person, a pregnant woman or injured person, gets on a packed bus I offer them my seat. Cos that is the right thing to do, its one of those unwritten codes of human decency. Like if you see someone get hit by a car, you call an ambulance.

What I hate are the bastards who are only going two stops but would rather die then give up their seat. They stare at the floor and pretend not to notice the guy who can barely stand as he is falling over. It really really drives me crazy, worse then them are the bag on seat people. If the bus is empty it fine but when your all packed in like sardines and someone thinks their handbag deserves a seat more then the other humans my blood boils. But the absolute nightmare are the outside seat hogs. You know the ones, they sit on the outside side while the window seat is empty, as the bus filled up do the move, of course not, they even have the gall to be annoyed should anyone ask to sit down.

I realise this pet peeve might just be me being uptight and I have to admit their are a lot of nice people out there who did kindly offer E a seat but there were enough selfish gits to really get on my nerves. I was inches away from turning green and shouting "Hulk Smash!" whilst throwing these people off the moving vehicle. Its lucky I haven't had my gamma radiation today.



Its Wednesday, the middle of the week, if we can get past today its a home run to the weekend.

Today in 1922 the BBC was established. In honour of that event I say Thank You! We might have to pay for a TV license in order to fund the BBC but its well worth it. Just having a channel that doesn't interrupt your programme with adverts at all, (until the show is finished) is priceless. I could go on and name a million brilliant things the BBC has produced, but to me two things will always make the BBC wonderful, The Broom Cupboard and David Attenborourgh. The thing is the BBC is more then just television, its good Radio and decent News as well, in fact I'd go so far to say that it is an integral part of life in the UK.

The Broom Cupboard was a children's entertainment show that ran after school Monday to Friday from 1985- 1994. Presenters included the rather amusing Phillip Schofield and never ageing Andi Peters (I think the sold their souls to the God of the Cupboard for eternal youth) plus puppet side kick! It bought the like of Thundercats, Blue Peter, The Really Wild Show, News Round and tonnes more, to children all over the UK. All under the pretence that the presenter was stuck in a cupboard somewhere in BBC headquarters broadcasting through adversity for us children. You'd see them queuing up the next programme, adjusting the boom mic and just making stuff up when things went wrong. For years I actually thought they were in a cupboard, afternoons were never the same without it. Even though its gone now and scary happy children presenters with a big budget have taken its place I'll never forget it.

The Second reason are all the David Attenborough documentary series'. My personal favourites include Blue Planet and Life of Mammals. Even though we had Sky from a young age with about a zillion documentary channels none were ever as good, informative and gripping as the one Produced by the BBC and written by Attenborough himself.


Books Books and more Books

I'm having an awful day so far and can't think of anything to post so here is my book list.

I've tried not to repeat titles...

The Magician Nephew - CS Lewis (its the first book I remember reading all the way to the end on my own cos I just couldn't stop reading).

The Age of Innocence - Edith Wharton

Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (my own battered copy)

Boy - Roald Dahl

The Outsiders - SE Hinton

I guess one of the million I've never managed to finish writing!

None, all books, even bad one have thier place

I'm currently reading two books, one is Something Rotten - Jasper Ffrode

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon

Seventh Tower - Garth Nix (its not published in the UK and a dear friend went to a lot of effort to get it for me and its fantastic).

The Iliad - Homer


New Police Story

My sister and I have been watching Martial Arts films ever since my mum took us to see Karate Kid in the Cinema (its the first movie I ever saw on the big screen). My sister is now a Choi Kwan Do, Black belt and instructor (among other things, I still think I can take her but that's just sibling rivalry). So of course we saw all the of original Police Story movies when we were kids, the dubbing was a joy on its own. I have to admit Michelle Yeoh was like goddess to us (and we thought Cynthia Rothrock was so cool).

So of course the first chance we got me and E legged it down to the cinema to see New Police Story. It actually came out 2 years ago but you don't often get to see Hong Kong Action flicks in the cinema here. We also had the endorsement of my best friend and avid Daniel Wu fan. We were not disappointed, even though Jackie Chan is obviously trying to be more serious (sometimes with laughable results) the action is fantastic and story actually make sense, the baddies are rather inventive and its funny was well. What more could you ask for? They even have a fight scene in a Lego store!


Driving in to infinity

I blogged ages ago (open road) about how my rather bizarre family only like to spend time together if it involves a car. This morning I was wondering what to yap about today when I cam across this...
Now this isn't the first time I've hear of people listening to their Sat-nav rather then their brains. In fact its rather common for people down in Avon to drive into a river cos of this marvellous invention its rather common to fish people out.

A few years ago my family and I piled into the car and drove to the Highlands of Scotland (some 500 miles) from London. The best thing about the roads in the Highlands are ones with signs saying 'Warning, not suitable for learner drivers and others of a nervous disposition! '.

Was this trip a mistake...well we returned a day early not speaking to one another. The point was my dad had just got a shiny new car, please note my father spends more time in his car then in his house. He loves the thing, to him a 100mile trip is 'just down the road'. My father also likes to think he knows all the roads and major routes in Britain, thus he often takes short cuts and side roads. So when he learned that the new car had Sat-Nav he was a little reluctant to try it, but as we were planning this trip he thought he'd test it out. We've been to Scotland like a million times, even I know the roads, so this was a good opportunity to see if the system worked. There we were programing it and tinkering. After a few miles we switched off the voice that tells you 'turn left in 300 meters' every bloody second, to which my dad would reply 'but I don't want that road!' as if the machine would understand. Then we had to turn off the irritating ping noise each time it wanted you to do something. By the 50mile mark we'd abandoned it all together. Once we arrived at our cottage my dad decided he'd been hasty and we'd try it again then next day. You can guess what happened, a few miles later I think he would have tossed the thing out the window and driven over it a few times for good measure, luckily I found the off button.


Cake or Death?

Whenever I'm really in need of a pick me up there is one place I turn, I pick up my MP3 player and listen to the show Glorious.

For those of you who haven't met him, this is Eddie Izzard.

He's a British comedian and actor and to me probably the funniest person alive. As you might have noticed from the pic he's also a transvestite, which in his case means his outfits can be as bizarre as some of his material. The movies he's been in are pretty good (like Mystery Men though sometimes your wondering what he was thinking) but on stage he really comes in to his own. Its like no one before, he doesn't just stand there and tell jokes with a few anecdote about his life, no its insane and you never quite know where he'll go next, badgers, monkeys, world history, God, supermarkets, sometimes in that order. Don't believe me, well here are just a few quotes, but I beg you watch at least one of his stand up show and I promise you to will be won over.

  • I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over. Cause if a woman falls over wearing heels, that’s embarrassing. But if a bloke falls over wearing heels, you have to kill yourself.
  • We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" And they're going, "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag? … No flag, no country!"
  • You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here' You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!'
  • If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
  • I need Bread for my Bread gun
  • But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!” The dog is saying, “Who are you to judge me? You human beings who’ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colours, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!
    “Well, if you put it that way, I think you’ve got a point. Have another biscuit.”
  • Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
  • Never put a sock in a toaster.


May the force be with you Harry...

Before I start I must tell you I love Harry Potter and I love Star Wars even more. I'm sure you've all heard this before but I need to write it down, Harry Potter is Star Wars. Wait! I'm not saying JK Rowling is evil and stole the story or anything, no nothing like that but they are both 'The Hero's Journey' etc and both stories take their own directions and twist and turn.
***Note Spoilers of the Harry Potter Books below***

To begin with:
Harry = Luke (our young orphan Hero living with and aunt and uncle)
Ron = Han Solo (the atypical Hero who gets the girl)
Hermione = Leia (the annoying female, though I quite like Hermione, See Muggle net for the whole love triangle thing)

but that's not all, even the side characters have parallels...

Dumbledore = Yoda (gives themselves up for the greater good etc)
Sirius Black = Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi (I'll protect you as a surrogate father, then die...)
Hagrid = Chewbacca
Voldermort = Emperor (EVIL hahaha!)
Malfoy = Vadar (evil, but not evil...)
Snape = Lando Calrissiann (can we trust him, we can't trust him)
House Elves = The Ewoks (random cute creatures)
Hedwig = R2-D2
Cruikshanks = C3-PO

I really could do this all day. Still not convinced? just think about it for a little while...You are strong in the force Harry, I mean Luke...in essence they are the same story, the age old story, how good defears evil in the end...but wait we could always go back to the prequel and see how this can to be.  For a time evil won the battle and corrupted Vadar/Voldermort but fear not, for this is how heroes are made.



Today in 1985 Orson Welles died, famous for terrifying the radio listening public in 1938 with his broadcast of War of the Worlds. In honour of Orson, let us not forget this great actor and his contribution the universe of Transformers (Orson Welles Voiced Unicron in The Transformers Movie).

My husband's friends in university used to get 80's nostalgia every now and again and end up debating who the perfect cast would be for a new Transformers Movie, under the assumption you could have anyone and it would never actually be made. Then we heard a rumour a few years ago that they are making a new, live action version. We all hoped it was coming after all the car adverts featuring dancing and ice skating Transformers, it was only a matter of time. Those of us who were kids in the 80's know just how cool having a car that turned in to a person (well almost) was. Watching the epic battle week after week between good and evil! Captive viewing, better then any kids TV cartoon since.

The new movie is currently filming with one really bad thing-Michael Bay as the director. Lets hope he doesn't manage to destroy it but I have to admit the site looks cool...

I tried to buy a decent Optimus Prime toy the other week and oh my they are pricey these days, what happened to toys being affordable?


Over 1000 years ago...

In school we were taught that Christopher Columbus discovered American in 1492. Year and years later some history teacher turns around and say "oh yes that's true but the Vikings were there first". For a second you think he is joking but lo and behold its all true. Today is Leif Ericson day, it seem in 1000AD Leif Ericson set foot on what is now North America. So there I was, stumped and wondering why teachers keep telling the same lie. The truth is far more interesting then fiction. Don't get me wrong Columbus was a pretty impressive guy and he did keep sailing when everyone else thought he was going to drop off the end of the earth but Vikings are really fascinating. I could spends days giving you facts about Viking culture, how they sailed most of the known world, traded and raided many different countries, had their own system of economics and runes, art and mythology (though they seem to get rather a bad press in movies etc). They also settled all over Europe dramatically changing place like Ireland (founded Dublin), England, Scotland and France. What I find most interesting is that they managed all of this with 9th century technology.

Some of the great things the Vikings gave us...
  • Very Cool LongShips "drakkar" meaning Dragon in Norse and tonnes of Nautical knowledge
  • Wednesday, was named for Odin
  • We also have loads of literature like Beowulf*, and the Volsunga Saga (from which we have Sleeping Beauty)
  • Mead! (not that I drink but the idea of drinking it from a Horn is still fun)
Anyway before I start to go on and on, two movies will be hitting us soon Beowulf and Pathfinder. Yes big budget action movies with little fact in them but you just know they are going to be good. OK maybe awful but good at the same time, like all the best action movies!

* Note Beowulf is actually an Old English poem based on Myth which was passed down through the Oral tradition. Much like the Trojan War in The Iliad was to Homer.


Good Friday

Friday's here (cue Friday I'm in Love - The Cure) , it is time to celebrate, oh wait have to get through work first. Today work won't be so bad, why, well its Jeans for Genes day. I'm not sure if this is international for just here in the UK but the idea it everyone wears a pair of jeans to work or school etc and you donate a pound or two to the Jeans for Genes charity (they help kids with Genetic disorders). Loads of work places have dress down down etc (we don't), but it is always nice to come in wearing whatever you like, plus its a very good cause. It also has the added bonus of annoying the boss of another department, as she is the only one who likes us to dress 'properly'. I'm waiting for her to be annoyed that I'm daring to wear a t-shirt, cause its jeans day not t-shirt day...

Another good thing happened yesterday, New Scientist published a letter I wrote, so I can have a silly grin on my face all day.

Lastly the funniest news of the day E is his wanderings far and wide has discovered a Professor Kling Ong. It took me a while to believe but this is his genuine name, how cool it that! And to him I say KAHPLAH!


Tagged - Five Songs

Thanks to Parlancheq I've been tagged...but I'm not sure which question I'm meant to answer so I'm going to both....

A is All about Work....
1. What is the best thing about your workplace?
Ummm my boss, Maria who let me come in the hours I want and doesn't treat me like an idiot.
2. What do you hate about your workplace?
They fact that I'm bored all day and there are some really vapid people here
3. What small irritance at your workplace really annoys you?

We have a dress code even though no on in my department deals with the public. It is enforced by someone who comes in one day a week, cos he thinks we should dress smart to make a "good impression"
4. Describe the actions/quirks of the weirdest person you work with (can be a co-worker, employer, or a vendor if you are self-employed).
this is my problem, I am the weirdest person at work, I sleep under the desk when I'm bored, I have a cat teddy on my desk I regard as real, I drink De-cafe, I eat cereal for lunch
and the list goes on as almost everyone else here is too normal and think I'm cuckoo. I'm not crazy just not well like them either...
5. What is one thing that you would change at your workplace to make life a helluva lot better?
I'd swap my current colleagues (except maria and maybe one or two others) for my old ones in the bookshop who I miss everyday. They were all different in their own way and that make work more fun. Oh and maybe give myself a huge pay rise...

B. "The idea is to pick five songs that you'd like played at your funeral.
OK this is really really hard, do I want to be depressing or ironic...ummmm

1. Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen: Cos I'm morbid and I love this song.
2. A Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World: I don't know why but I think this song rocks, always make me want to sing along and generally cheers me up (its my happy song)
3. Back in Black - AC/DC: My friends will understand the joke here (and I'll haunt them if they don't laugh)
4. Grapefruit Moon - Tom Waits: A million reasons...but I'd want something by him or it wouldn't be right. Plus if I only had one Choice it would be Tom
5. Flames - VAST: This is one of my most favorites songs of all time and has a beautiful Cello piece.

Ok that took me forever so I'm going to cheat you see I think I'd rather this was played Comptine D'Un Autre ete - Yann Tiersen (from the Amelie Soundtrack), It is not a song per se its just beautiful music but if I had one choice I'd pick this.

Now I've Tagged

Michael C
Steve Novak

Why?...cos I'm hoping they'll be nice and answer the questions...plus I'm rather interested in their song choices.

Damn I just realised the links I left don't work fiddlestick!!!!



Monday was the 56th anniversary of Peanuts, but today was Snoopy's first appearance, so in celebration of this joyous event I had to write a post about my favourite cartoon canine.
You can read all about Snoopy and the rest of the Peanuts gang here.

Though his first appearance wasn't earth shattering he really is the funniest cartoon dog on the planet. Don't worry Garfield is still my hero but I have to say Snoopy and Woodstock are close on his heels. Did you know Woodstock wasn't introduced as a main character until the 1970s and and he is reluctant to eat thrown bread crumbs because he doesn't want anyone to think he's on welfare*. I like Charlie Brown too but Snoopy was always the best part of the comic and the cartoon especially when he was up to something naughty.


being ill

I've been home sick the past 2 days.I should be laying down in from the TV letting my brain turn to mush in the land of daytime (which is awful and yet some how addictive). Instead I've spent my time walking around the flat stir crazy fixing stuff and cleaning. When I'm at work, I wish i was home, now I'm home I'm feeling guilty about work. Why oh why do our minds do this to us? Here I am in pain but feeling worse for not being at my job (which i do not love). Guilt really sucks but on the plus side my bathroom is sparkling.

So in my woe I've come up with 10 things you should never feel guilty about...

1. Eating food when you are hungry
2. Farting (we all do it)
3. Sleeping
4. Being sick (even if everyone in your workplace/school never seem to be ill)
5. Feeling happy
6. Feeling lonely
7. Wanting love or sex (we all need it, none of us would be here without it)
8. Not meeting other peoples expectations
9. Treating yourself
10. Things that are beyond your control.

I'm off to lay down with my book and wait for my husband to come home and take care of me.


Things to Cheer you up...

It is Monday again. I hate mondays, so today I've tried to find a few things that will make today a little less awful for us all.

As Pictures are worth a thousand words and i'm not in the mood for talking i leave you with this...

First up is this site 20 Minutes to Less Stress

Second - According to the Sunday Times your dog can now partake in you wedding as the best man or best dog, Though none of your friends may come to your wedding should you choose this option.

Third - Dilbert has a blog!!!. you can still get all the comic strips here.