Showing posts from December, 2006

Over and Out

I took this quiz over on Ian's blog...

You are The Devil.

I can't say I was thrilled with the result but such is life...

This is my last post for 2006, see you all in the New Year.

Love The Devil (aka Shadowfalcon)

***News of the Season***
- Miracles - Lizzard style...
- Creative thinking!
- Reasons to stay away from Glasgow


This morning on the way into work, the wee small hours of morning were dark and moody. Mist enshrouded Hyde Park and the eerie darkness made the fun fair rides look rather sinister as I passed them by.

I think morning mist is like an unrequited love, everything is hazy and out of focus but the closer you get the more elusive it becomes. Cursed with the knowledge you can see it but never posses it.

At the moment we only have 8 hours of sunlight at the most and even that is a sombre grey. This is more then many unfortunate places but that doesn't stop me getting depressed.

I'm convinced S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Depression) causes people to go a little insane with the Christmas lights. There are some streets and we've all seen them with houses that I'm sure can be seen from space.

But there is a town in the French Alps who have come up with an ancient solution :


Of Course if you live in the Arctic circle and happen to be stuck with 4 months of darkness this might no…

A Christmas meme

I've been tagged by Scalpel or Sword and I never miss a tag so here it is...

1. Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog?
Hot Chocolate, no contest!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
I always thought the Elves did the whole gift wrap service. Santa's just the distribution service.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White lights all the way, anything else boarders on tacky

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No its deadly!

5. When do you put your decorations up?
After the lights go up on Oxford Street

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Roast Potatoes, I'm a carb freak so the more I eat the merrier

7. Favorite Holiday memory?
Being 11 and walking up at 6 am with my sister to open presents and getting a Lego Space Shuttle.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I think I always knew the logistics of the whole thing never made sense.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? One thing at midnight (technically x-mas day), its a tradition and it has to be small.

10. How do…

Office Party Part 2 - Things I overheard...

I think I've moaned enough about the pain that is the office party. We did have a chocolate fountain this year which makes up for a lot but not everything.

I thought it might be amusing to let you all in on some of the things I overheard...

Guy (to himself with a bottle of wine) - I really have to stop playing drinking games on my own

Girl (to my boss who is a lesbian) - Wow, you look great, if I was a Lesbian I'd take you home.
My Boss (to me) - I'll never be that drunk

Blonde Girl in bathroom - Look I'll put my hand down there and just pull it out...

Women 1 - Wow your boobs looks great
Women 2 - I know its my new bra they sort of lift it all up
Women 1 - I need to get myself a bra like that
Man - Me too

Man in bad tie - Can you believe the food, wasn't it awful?
Man in good tie - I work here.

Girl 1 - Hi, How are you it been so long snice I've seen you, How are the kids?
Girl 2 - I'm Fine, the kids are great, How are you?
Girl 1 - Oh not to bad, same old same old, Y…

Office Party

Tonight is the big night. The night I have been both dreading and looking forward to.

Dreading because I hate large groups of people, I hate drunk people, I hate parties and its even worse watching 200 accountants and publishing people attempt to dance. In fact I'd go so far as to say it's horrifying. It should be filmed and turned into one of those shows "When Accountants Attack!".

Last year it all started well, we all arrived at the Hotel and did that stand around yapping thing until we were shown into the banquet hall and then it descended into chaos. Actually they waited until after the main course but this did mean I got 3 slices of cake instead of just the one. I have to admit it is funny to watch the spectacle totally sober and there is always Monday morning when all the gossip you didn't witness gets brought to life. You know "Debbie in HR went home with Jason in Customer Services, but she's engaged!", I don't actually know Debbie or Jason…

Santa's new Sleigh

It may take Santa some time to get to your house this year as Reindeers go on strike.

Rudolph, chief of the Reindeer Union had this comment on this years strike action " Wiki has taugh us about roayalites and we aren't working till we see some!"

Santa refised to comment as he's already spent the money on his face lift. Warning some younger viewers may be distress by what they see...

***In Other News of the Day***
It seems the animals of the world have been grabbing the headlines...
- Ever had that nightmare that a snake could come up your toilet? No? are you sure?
- Camel scarifice makes for better flights?
- How to skin a cat and leave you homeless
- In non-animal related news, When logic bombs are designed by a fool
- and last, Where to get a drink in the middle of nowhere...

Airplanes, the best way to travel?

E was stuck up in Scotland for hours yesterday because his plane was delayed by 3 hours.

I don't think airplanes are the best way to travel over short distances. By shorts I mean a one or two hour flights, but it does depend to where.

For example London to Dublin is an hours flight but you have to cross the Irish sea - in this case planes are far more sensible (plus if I mention the word "Ferry", E get that look of distain). London to Paris is also and hour but I'd rather take the EuroStar.

Yes thats right I'd rather take the train. They have seats that can fit a normal sized human being and staff that do not frown at you for getting up. I know trains can be just as expensive as Airtravel but for some places its just easier.

Take for example another 1 hour flight, From London to Newcastle. You can do this in under 3 hours on a train. Now it seems the plane is faster but take into acount the 30mins to get out to the airport, the 1.5 hours to check-in and wait around b…

Things to do when your wasted...1. Lie about who you are

I went to a Catholic School (even though I wasn't Christian) becasue my parents thought it would have more dicipline then other schools. During the two years I was there I became friends with our Chaplin - Father Chris, a very funny guy who had a terrible, almost devilish sense of humour and collected ceramic frogs. Becasue of him I'd always had respect for the Clergy, I mean I had before but I began to think of them as a bit more human. (Plus he never told me, I was going to burn in hell for my heathen ways - that's another story).

Anyway, so yesterday I'm reading the paper and I come across an article about the Bishop of Southwark who got wasted and woke up without his mobile phone etc and assumed he'd been mugged.

It seems not, the good Bishop had had a few drinks at the Irish Embasy and was so drunk when he left that he climbed into someone elses car (in Crucifix Lane), claiming to be the Bishop of Woolwich and precceded to throw the owners stuff out the windows …

Storm on the Island

The sky is a placid grey this morning, the wind is beating its drum upon to rooftops and we all know a storm coming.

We had a tornado in London last Friday, shocked the hell out of most of us. The only weather of this kind I can recall was a hurricane in 1987, me being only little at the time have a few rather vague memories of that day, except for the fact we had huge logs to play with at school. Despite that I grew up thinking we lived on a rather safe island far away from all those natural disasters areas. No fault lines, no Volcanoes, no tropical storms, safe as safe can be. Seems I was mistaken.

This sort of weather always makes me introspective but more then anything it reminds me of a poem by Seamus Heaney, of course he was talking about Ireland but its so evocative it always stayed with me...


We are prepared: we build our houses squat,
Sink walls in rock and roof them with good slate.
This wizened earth has never troubled us
With hay, so, as you…

Pardon Me while I brust into Flames

I'm having the worse day known to man.

It never rains but it pours, thats how I feel about bad news.

My work expect me to magically do 1 years work in 6months. Its not humanly possible.

I really don't get paid enough for this rubbish.

Here is some Dilbert until I calm down enough a write something that isn't full of expletives.

Moving jobs...

Do you ever find that moving jobs is an absolute nightmare? Its strange but I've always found it easier to change job if I'm already in one then when I don't have one at all.

Even then it is the same nigthmare, you send off about a million CVs for jobs you are probably a little over or even under qualified for and hear nothing. This could go on for months and there is no reason why. Is it so hard to send a "sorry your application has been unsucessful" letter/e-mail? Half the time it seems just like random luck rather then your actual abilities. You get interviewed for places you thought would never call you and ignored by ones you know you can do in your sleep.

You spend the rest of time wondering if moving jobs is so hard, how did the idiot next to me get hired?

Life before the internet

Years ago if you had a piece of homework or you just wanted to check a fact, you've have to look it up. This could mean getting out an Encyclopaedia, going to the library, asking your dad or if you were really hi-tec you could check a CD-ROM. I was always such a nerd that my parents would literally have to drag me away from the library, eventually if they needed to go out for a few hours they'd just drop me off there and chances are I still wouldn't want to leave when they came back.

Though I can still waste hours upon hours in a library, now all of that knowledge is just a few clicks away and I believe the world is all the better for it. I transfered my fact addiction to Wikipedia and now my head is full random things from Sand Cats (which are so cute) to the Biography of Tom Waits.

I recall thinking Jumpin' Jack Flash, was incrediable I can you imagine talking to someone half way across the world on a computer?

The best part, is its all free.

***On This Day***
- 1786 The…

Personality Captain

I used to work Monday nights at the computer centre at uni, K (my best friend) used work another one. For a student job it paid well but could be mind-numbingly boring. I used to just write my essays and rarely when people asked, I'd fix something. K managed to entertain herself by being totally addicted to on-line quizzes and personality tests, so I'd get her to send me the better ones to me. Of course if you believe half of these test you'd either be insane or very delusional. Over the years I think I'd taken every test under the sun, been told I should pursue a career in the army as well as joining green peace and fulfill my secret desire of 'running away with the circus'.

Luckily I didn't take any of these seriously, cos most of them are non-sense or just tell you what you want to hear until I came across this: The Star Trek Personality Test

Now its based on the Myers-Briggs type indicator super personality test, so I was thinking it would be pretty ac…

6 Weird Things

I think I'm going to cry, i hate Mondays and I just lost my post...

I've been tagged, so here are weird things about me...

1. I talk about myself in the 3rd person and like to have conversations with my teddy bears.

2. I can eat insane amounts of Candy floss and popcorn without end cause they are sooo yummy

3. i have a book addiction, i can't stop buying them and i won't give them away unless I know they are going to a good home.

4. When I'm on my own I'll sing-a-long to my 'My Fair Lady' and Wizzard of Oz' DVDs

5. I have theme songs for people in my head (not everyone) so when I see them they get a little music intro

6. I still like dressing up in costumes....

Tagged are: Michelle, Lizza, Parlancheq, JR, Natalie and MerapuMan.

Music Videos

We recently fixed our FreeView so that it works perfectly and to my surprise we got a few free Music Channels. Now I haven't had more the normal five channels since I left home (6 years ago). When I go back to my parents I'm glued to Animal Planet or the dinning table. So I never even noticed the billions of new Music Channels, this could have something to do with my dis-illusionment with music at the moment but that's a whole other post. I used to stay up (due to insomnia) glued to The Box and MTV Europe. Then my sister decided music was the work of the devil (she actually used those words) and I was banned from watching any of those channels or listening to music out loud. This was around the time she decided we weren't allowed to par-take in Christmas and I starting buying my first metal/rock albums.

At one point she thought I was depressed cause I was listening to Nine Inch Nails and told a family friend I might need counselling. This was clearly a case of the ins…